NIKKAH IN ISLAM
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In
a Hadith narrated from Abu Dharr, the Prophet sallah llahu alayhi wa salam said, “……Having intercourse (with
one’s wife) is a form of charity.” Some people from among the companions asked,
“O Messenger of Allah, if one of us fulfils his desire, is there reward in
that?” He replied, “Do you not see that if he does it in a haraam way he will
have the burden of sin? So if he does it in a halaal way, he will have a reward
for that.”(Narrated by Muslim, 1674)
In
a society in which fornication has become the order of the day there is no
excuse as Muslims to join the wagon. Allah in His infinite wisdom has designed
a system to channel one’s desire. A Muslim must have it at the back of the mind
that fornication is never an option while being on guard and rather explore the
option of nikaah.
Narrated
by`Abdullah:
We
were with the Prophet sallah llahu alayhi
wa salam while we were young and had no wealth. So Allah’s Messenger sallah llahu alayhi wa salam said, “O
young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him
lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing
illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should
fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.”(Sahih al-Bukhari 5066)
As
students of a tertiary institution with many of us coming of age we differ in
our needs as regards nikaah. Some of us may have no need for it due to our
nature. We can go about our businesses without inclination towards the opposite
sex. While for the rest of us it may the best thing for us in managing our
desires. There are those that claim that there’s no need for early nikkah even
though they may engage in illicit practices to satisfy their desires. Upon them
is to hasten to their Lord in repentance and seek the means of nikkah.
Nikkah
is from the sunnah of the Prophet SAW and he is reported to have said, “So he
who does not follow my tradition is not from me (not one of my followers).” (Sahih
al-Bukhari 5063)
Nikkah
is not for everyone as it requires some level of maturity and capability. An
impotent man cannot go into marriage except with say a widow that would just
like to be under the care of a man.
As
pleasurable as nikaah can be it is important to know that it is majorly
consisting of responsibilities and obligations. The husband and the wife have
their respective roles to play and one would not expect the other to share
certain responsibilities. The husband doesn’t say because of increasing
financial responsibilities, that expenses be divided and the wife should start
bearing the cost of two out of the seven children they bore. The woman shouldn’t
leave her responsibility in child upbringing because of her career aspirations.
While
others may be nonchalant in choosing partners, one needs to be careful as Muslims.
Choosing a partner means placing the power of steering alongside the course of
raising pious offsprings. With great power comes great responsibility.
One
has to be on the lookout for certain qualities like religiosity, moral uprightness
and characters especially in females. Other favourable qualities are chastity,
obedience and submissiveness, contentment and gratefulness. One should be also
wary of materialistic females.
Females
should be on the lookout for men that have always shown a tendency to be merciful
to women, are generous and patient.
Before
going about nuptials certain investigations should be made from both sides
about their partner to be. While people will not be perf ect it is usually
better to be pre informed about negative behaviours that the other person may
have. If it is something that one doesn’t mind living with then one can go on.
It was narrated that when Faatima bint Qays got a proposal from Muawiya b. Abu Sufyan and Jahm she informed Allah's
Messenger (SAW) who said: As for Abu Jahm, he does not put down his staff from
his shoulder, and as for Mu'awiya, he is a poor man having no property; marry
Usama b. Zaid.(Sahih Muslim 1480a)
During
khitbah (the legislated courtship) the couple to be are expected to undergo :
- 1) Istisharah
- wider consultation about the partner to be, who the teachers in knowledge of
the deen, his or her association
- 2) Istikharah
–seeking Allah’s guidance and intervention as legislated in the tradition of Allah’s
Messenger (SAW)
There
are about three ways that a proposal can be made to a lady with evidence in the
pious predecessors:
- 1) Through
her father: which is usually the best
- 2) Through
an intermediary to her
- 3) Directly
to her
A
lady is allowed to propose to a man as well. Though it is advised that she does
it through an intermediary to avoid stories that will touch her heart.
It
is obligatory for a female’s mahr to be paid after the proposal has been
accepted. She is allowed to demand whatever she likes though it is advised that
she be reasonable based on her husband to be’s capacity.
For
the tying of the nuptial knot legally (aqd nikkah) at least 2 witnesses are
required.
Nikkah
only requires that one plans ahead by:
1) Constantly
supplicating towards Allah
2) Compatibility
of the spouses to be
3) Getting a source of income
With
the above Allah would surely ease it. May Allah grant us spouses, 'the coolness
of our eyes.’
Muhammad
Oluwatimilehin Saka
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